Sunday, February 11, 2007


i have always found it difficult to find a pair of pants/slacks that fit the way i want them to fit... usually the length is okay but the waist doesn't fit right, or the reverse holds true... i even run into problems finding pants that have the right length between the waist and the crotch... in this case the waist fits, but the jewels are uncomfortable, leaving them bunched up and bulging, pointing the way ahead... this becomes especially embarrassing when blood drains to the nether regions (and in my case that sometimes occur without any conscious effort and/or without me even knowing why), or when blood moves away from said regions (example when it is cold - then i am left with a little stub that sticks out like a finger)...

i have even tried tailors...but for whatever reason their cuts just doesn't hug me right...i am picky, i know, but i also know that humans are a result i load up my closet with khakis...

but when i step out of my khakis, all i want are:

1. evenly spaced (including a loop at the back seam) and well anchored loops capable of easily accommodating a belt 1.5 inches wide

2. firmly placed buttons - not something that spins each time it is handled and then falls off when it gets tired of spinning

3. zippers that do what they are supposed to do when they are called upon to work (preferably zippers that can nudge me to move certain body parts out of the way before it snags them/it...this is especially important since i like go commando)

4. pockets that are deep enough to hold its contents without them falling out each time i sit, but not so deep i have to stretch to my knees to reach the contents

5. pockets that are durable and can withstand poking and prodding without giving up (falling off the pants or "growing" holes)

6. seams that are straight - particularly the inseam...i was always taught that to crease my pants i should lay the seams of the pant leg one atop the other and that should give me straight seam that is evenly placed on the pant leg....this crease should also run up the front and back of the pant leg...not the side...when the seams are lean that lesson does not hold and i have to call an engineer to figure out the right angles and placement of the crease..

7. back pockets that are placed not too high up, but also not so low that my wallet hurt the back of my leg (and yes, my pants MUST have back pockets)

8. cuffs (when i do wear them) that are even...not cuffs that are 1.5 inches on the left leg, and 1 inch on the right...(that makes me look off-balance)

i don't think that is too much to ask...

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